Ariana Grande’s “34+35” Remix Does a Libido Good

Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me…well call me anything you like, just as long as you call me to dinner when it’s ready. You so know how I hate cold food. But I just love me some ladies in lingerie. I love garters and stockings, little ‘baby doll’ nighties, even a latex corset or two. And if I am of a mind, and a woman so kind to be wearing something naughty to bed, I’ll usually advice “Keep your hat on,” to borrow from Randy Newman.

I’ll find my way ’round the naughty unmentionables just fine, don’t you worry.

Why all this lingerie talk? Well, I just caught the new Ariana Grande “34+35” Remix video. Featuring Dojo Cat and Megan Thee Stallion, what our modern-day divas wear here is a spectacular showing of intimate couture.

And the ladies should be applauded for this!


I know you have to be careful these days with even hinting at objectification, but since these three ladies are putting themselves out there to be noticed in this way, I am noticing, and I am letting whomever reads this know I’m noticing. In a way you might say, that in coming to write this blog I am ‘giving my notice,’ on what I am noticing.

What I notice most in the video?

Grande sits poolside with her ‘guests,’ the ladies cavort across a gold luggage rack, and we see them from on high sprawled down a spiral staircase, a full on shot where the viewer is treated to each woman’s naughty get-up. And man, do they look hot! Ariana Grande wears a Victoria’s Secret bodysuit of black lace, with a cutout bodice, and satin tights. Doja Cat undulates in a black-and-white corset, a soft pink garter belt, and thigh-highs (I’ll say it again, I so love garters and stockings…shoot me, I’m hetero!) She accessorizes with purple gloves, and a black feather duster. Megan Thee Stallion wears a soft pink lingerie set, a chunky necklace and her own pink…in the way of open-toe shoes.

Twerking, writhing, sprawling, posing and a whole bunch of naughty lyric issues forth from the clip, enough to even make even the most hardened erotica writer/podcaster (and you can hear that podcast here, here, here and here) blush.

Well, maybe.

No matter what I am doing during my watching of this new “34+35” video, take it from me, it’s a killer!

Come Listen To Nine to Eternity: A Science Fiction Anthology

It’s not often (and don’t ask me why this is just the way things play out) that Chris and I get to write together. We do have a non-fiction “How-To” sex tome coming out soon (more on that when we get closer to publication), and we’ve been working on a satirical sexy sci-fi book for some time. But Chris and I are usually so embroiled in our individual writing (or trying to get embroiled and away from the tiddlywinks and thrusting pencils between donut holes) that we don’t get to collaborate as much as we’d like.

But something we did work on together, actually a book Chris edited and asked me to contribute a short story to is the collection Nine to Eternity: A Science Fiction Anthology. I told you of this book’s publication way back when, but now our very good friends at Wordwooze, a company that has so wonderfully published a bunch of titles from Chris and me, have released Nine to Eternity: A Science Fiction Anthology in audiobook format.

Wordwooze publishes eBook and print-on-demand, but they are also one of the leaders in the audiobook format. Chris and I have seen our other individual erotica converted to audiobooks by Wordwooze plenty, and I must say the process leaves me humbled and thrilled every time. To hear one of my stories read by the talented voice artists Wordwooze employees really lifts my words to a whole other level. 

For the stories here, Chris asked each author of this collection to pick “a personal favorite story: one that – also, sadly – didn’t get the love they’d put into it.” Ernest Hogan, Emily Devenport, Cynthia Ward, and Arthur Byron Cover join me, David Lee Summers, Jean Marie Stine, Jody Scott, and M. Christian himself, to make what was (and still is) a wonderful reading experience now even more memorable, as a listening experience. 

You can grab a copy of the audiobook version of Nine to Eternity: A Science Fiction Anthology here. And while you’re at it, check out the other Wordwooze titles (here).

I can at least vouch for two of their authors!

Larry Flynt R.I.P.

Back in the beginning of this century—2003 to be exact—I found myself (as in, “Hey self, look at where I found you?!”) sitting across from my mom’s cousin, a reporter for a local FOX station in California. Trying desperately to avoid talking about politics, a subject I know nothing about, I was eating and jawing best I could. It wasn’t so much that I cared a whit about the ladies leanings, for or against, (not only is this a subject I know nothing about, I don’t care that I don’t know anything about it) but over dinner there at that Sacramento eatery, California’s then gubernatorial race was brought round to the conversation. I offered that Larry Flynt happened to be running that year (porn was undoubtedly a subject I knew about and kept up with), which everyone around the table knew and quickly poo-pooed. I agreed the Hustler magnate was not your typical politico, although he also took a stab at running for president back in 1984. But I reminded the table that it was Mr. Flynt who took his infamous Hustler Magazine v. Falwell obscenity case to the supreme court, fighting for his, and subsequently all of our, First Amendment rights. 

Flynt was sued for libel by the evangelist Jerry Falwell for publishing a fake ad in Hustler. He depicted Falwell saying his first sexual experience had been with his mother in an outhouse. Indeed, a bad taste joke; nobody, not even Flynt, would ever admit he had good taste. But the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Flynt’s favor, overturning a lower court’s ruling that had initially awarded Falwell victory. The court decided, as tasteless as that ad might be, it fell well into the realm of parody and was protected by free speech. 

As an interesting side note, ten years after the verdict, Falwell contacted Flynt, and the men began appearing together to bandy about moral issues and First Amendment conundrums. 

Having claimed his first sexual experience was with a chicken, way back when he was growing up in poverty in Lakeville, Ky, Flynt was undoubtedly an interesting character by any stretch of the imagination. Serving in the Navy, working as a bootlegger, and then finally finding his way into the bar business, it was when he began to advertise for his “Hustler Clubs,” that he first published Hustler. Initially, a 2-page newsletter promoting the specific ‘delights’ customers could find when visiting one of his establishments. This newsletter became so popular that Flynt expanded it into the Hustler magazine we know today.

In 1975, a year into its publication run, Flynt purchased naked photos of Jacqueline Onassis. The issue of Hustler that those photos appeared in sold more than a million copies and made Flynt a millionaire. From there, he built his empire to include retails shops, casinos, and other magazines (not all porn). Leaving court in 1978 from yet another of his obscenity trials, Flynt was shot by serial killer Joseph Paul Franklin, leaving Flynt paralyzed from the waist down. Through terrible pain, not a small pain killer addiction, his wife Althea drowning in her bathtub, and constant vitriol from the mainstream, the man continued to build his empire and poke the status quo.

Flynt claimed he never objected to society considering him a smut peddler, but in the same breath, wanted to be known as a First Amendment crusader, too.

Hey, I know that lady!

All politics aside, The Huffington Post does surprise me sometimes. I just happened across a recently penned piece called: As A Kid I Was Told Armageddon Was Near, So I Wouldn’t Need A Job. Now I’m A BDSM Model. It’s in their personal section (see here) and written by a woman named Ariel Anderssen.
Small world, I happened to interview Ariel years ago for my SEX FILES column at the shortandsweet websites: (see here).
I was first introduced to leggy Ms. Anderssen at the Firm Hand Spanking site. Now, don’t ask me how I first stumbled across this site, but my browser just seems to spin me there every couple of days now (damn, these computers and their A. I. lusts!). Under different names, she works as a model and performer in various kink or erotic related scenes and shoots…the lady does have a nice wide range of interests.
What I found so beguiling about Ariel Anderssen and quite many performers in the kink field is how down-to-Earth she is, how open about her interests, and how the particular kink she had (in this lady’s case, more often than not, it is being submissive) was just part of her life. Indeed, Anderssen makes her daily bread modeling and starring in sub scenes, but for her and so many folks Chris and I have interviewed and hung out with, mostly the lady was just thrilled to enjoy having that which dampens her knickers as a career.
I guess the above ethos is true for Chris and me as well. We do what we love, and what we love is pretty much driven by our more prurient interests. Sure, Chris and I write a wide variety of stuff, not just erotica (which you will often hear us go on about on the podcast…which you can find here and here). But lots of what we do is write about our naughtier desires and sexual fantasies.
If you have the time and are of the mind, check out the links I mentioned above and give your cursor a spin across Ariel Anderssen’s sites:

Ariel Anderssen OnlyFans

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Bye Bye De Wallen?

Do all good things really come to an end?
It seems the above might ring true for Amsterdam’s infamous “De Wallen” area (commonly known as the city’s world-famous Red Light District). A new “erotic center” is set to take the “cabins”–those windowed booths that display the city’s various prostitutes to passersby—to a remote spot. Amsterdam’s mayor, Femke Halsema, has worked tirelessly, most recently trying to get the oldest profession out of the area, which she says is littered with tourists who abuse and gawk at the girls. Halsema also wants only Dutch residents allowed in the city’s nearly 200 marijuana-selling “coffee shops.”
When I strolled through the De Wallen (of course only for research), I remember passing by it a couple of times before realizing I had walked right on by. The thing is, the area feels more like an outdoor boardwalk scene; the water, open-air bars, tons of people milling about, twinkly lights. And until it gets dark and you can see the red lights from the prostitute’s windows reflecting off the canal water, you won’t realize it’s anything but a busy street.

And this is a city is filled with canals and busy streets.

Yes, the girls are out there, with lots of themselves ‘out there.’ But what I had read about and certainly saw every few steps or so, was a big burly dude at the ready right around or above a bunch of cabins. I knew him to be the bodyguard for the prostitutes in his charge, and if one of his girls’ hit a buzzer located in her booth, the guy would come running.
There were also lots of police in the area. Since prostitution is legal in the city, they step in when the girls get in trouble.
Opposition to the mayor’s relocation comes from the Red Light United Group, the D66 party, and the Greens, Labour, and the Socialist Party. These groups are also against the new regulations on coffee shops.
In a city as wide open and liberal as Amsterdam is, it seems odd that anyone would try to keep tourists, pot smokers, random fuckers, or anybody else from what this wonderful city is so known for.

All About Ms. Ava Durga

Look at this scrumptious ABOUT page our friend Ms. Ava Durga just put together for her Circle of Q site. You might recall, Chris and I speaking with the wonderfully sexy and smart (or is that smart and sexy?) Miss Ava on our episode #5 (heard here, here and here). In fact, Ms. Ava was our first guest ever, and if you go to our TeePublic store, you will find she is also the model for our T-shirts.

What’s especially delightful about Ms. Ava’s new page is how wonderfully she incorporates her copy with her design and pictures. And the copy I can especially vouch for…as this terribly fantastic lady came to me to write it.

I know Chris feels the same way: having work is fantastic; being sought after for an assignment, especially flattering; but working for someone you have affection for and consider a very good friend, well that’s about the best anybody could ever ask! Sure, we hear horror stories all the time about friends working together, and I have been involved in a few sticky situations. It’s akin to when a friend-with-benefits situation runs afoul; man, can things get icky! But there are times when all the tumblers fall into place, where the work is challenging and fun, and the people you work for happen to be those you care deeply for.

Such was the case for Ms. Ava and me.

Chris and I also believe 100% in what Ms. Ava and her partner at the site, Sissy Becca, are doing over at Circle of Q. They have answered a sure need for an online community that integrates their four essential tenets. As they say on the site, these are:

+ A safe online environment where crossdressers, sissies, bi-curious or bisexual males, admirers, tops, and partners can meet, interact and play.

+ A social and dating site for adults that’s not padded with dummy profiles.

+ A community developed by CDs, sissies, and admirers to provide an engaging experience that’s free from scammers and solicitations.

+ Utmost discretion and privacy for all members.

I couldn’t see anyone not getting behind what Circle of Q promotes (and who just wouldn’t love Ms. Ava behind them…tee hee) and I am honored to be part of it, even in my very small way. We wish the very best for Ava, Becca and pretty much anyone else following their heart, especially in the current wacky ‘anything but’ new normal.

Thanks Ava, we love you!

No Whip, No Problem: Ralph’s new short story collection published by Pink Flamingo

Chris and I talk about the icky side of self-promotion all the time. How yapping about your doings across Facebook, Instagram and Twitter just seem so self-congratulatory. It’s tough for me to pimp for myself (although I’ll do it for others any day of the week) just because I have a forum to do so. I don’t feel I should subject the readers of this blog (have we any) or the listeners of our podcast (which you can find here, and I know we have listeners aplenty) to the shameless spin of my latest scribbles.
Yet, I do want to sell books, if not as much for my purse, certainly for the fine folks at Pink Flamingo, the company that has just put out my new femdom short story collection: No Whip, No Problem.
NWNP is my first salvo-across-the-bow with Pink Flamingo, a company I have followed for years (most of us erotica writers know them well), and I am tickled…well…pink that they have agreed to put out the eBook and print versions of my latest.
This particular book took a little longer to write than is my usual, as I had set myself the task of presenting stories with dominant female antagonists dominating in what I hoped the reader would find interesting and unique ways. Indeed, there is no whip here or those tried-and-true BDSM tropes, wonderful as they might be.
Now, of course, when I use words like ‘dominant,’ ‘BDSM,’ even ‘female’ people might have different definitions of those terms than I do. I can tell you that the stories in No Whip, No Problem feature biologically-born ladies as main characters, spin along with psychological motivations as much as physical ones, and I think reveal enough arousing wordplay the reader might (I hope) find themselves at times holding the book or staring at their screen, one-handed.
So, thank you to Pink Flamingo, and thank you all for letting me have a few moments to get all Ralph icky with you.

Another place you can find No Whip, No Problem is here.

Episode #20: Dear Sweet Greta Grindhouse

Once again, Chris and I landed a most fabulous guest for Licking Non-Vanilla. In episode #20 (up right now!), we speak to the most adorable, Greta Grindhouse (listen here).

Greta is a cam/movie performer who actually just began her adult working life but is surely rising in the ranks of fandom (and getting a “rise” out of her fans, if you know what I mean). A BBW with flaming red hair, a ridiculously adorable smile, and a need to please, Greta is making the best of where we are all at right now by indulging herself for the pleasure of the men and women who come seeking a fun, flirty, and frisky curvy lady on cam and download.

Being fans of full-figured ladies as Chris and I are, you might find us stumbling and bumbling over our words as we interview Greta for the first half-hour of the episode. But you’ll love learning about the 37-year-old lady, with the amazing 41H-sized breasts (see Greta below looking over that amazing shelf) and her particular penchant for a 70’s porn aesthetic, and all manner of naughty fun she often gets herself into. Greta is also an artist, and from the URL’s I give you below, you can find, buy and commission a piece from her.

What we found especially interesting about Greta’s story was that she started in the business later than most ladies start and comes to things, both good and bad, with a certain wisdom that maturity gives one (Chris and I are still looking for this wisdom, let us know when you see it, ok?) With naughty fun always at the heart of what she is after, Greta has just a little more sense to avoid things that pop up for all adult performers, and she tells us about surfing these when we talk to her, as much as all other aspects of what she does.

It’s fascinating stuff.

As she mentions on the show, fans, friends, producers, other adult stars, and even the mildly curious can find Greta at and on Twitter @GretaGrindhouse, on OnlyFans @ at Chaturbate@ and Pornhub@

And here is another place to find Licking Non-Vanilla.

Ari Hammer Time

What Chris and I try never to do on Licking Non-Vanilla (which you can find here, and here,) is get into celebrity bashing. The blog o’pshere, Twitterati, CNBC’s, FOX NEWS, and pretty much everybody else does enough of that. While we are as interested (more like inundated) by the culture as anybody else, neither my co-host or I ever really pants over the trivial-that-passes-for-the-important that’s constantly-reported about our brightest, best, and richest. Even the sex stories, as many as catch our eye and that, at times, I will go on about here, can get a little much. It’s kind of a ‘let’s see if we can rise above it,’ situation as Chris and I just try not to regurgitate the lurid (too much) here or on our show.

In the end, who are we to judge? Nobody has the right to act as the cancel police. Shit, it’s all Chris and I can do on any given day to keep both of our hands on our keyboards when writing our naughty scribbles.

But then there is abuse, assault, practices, when not practiced safely and with consent, that yet again, throw a pall across the many naughty activities many safe, fun, and respectful people get into. And might damn well be illegal! It was never the fact Anthony Weiner was taking pictures of his junk that was what really got to any sane person, Weiner fan or not. It was how he seemed to have a compulsion to show himself around and how he may have run himself close to, if not actually engaged in, some illegal activity. And who really cares whatever Ghislaine Maxwell did with, for, and around Jeffery Epstein? But if what she what she did with, for and around him involved underage procurement or any other abuse of people who could not consent, then maybe this story damn well needs some discussion.

This might very well be the case with model Paige Lorenze’s accusations against actor Armi Hammer. In the couple’s’dating for the past four months, Lorenze claims that Hammer indulged his interested in BDSM sex with her, paddled Lorenze, making her call him ‘sir’ and ‘daddy’ and even supposedly carving his first initial, a capital ‘A’ into her pelvis (was Keith Raniere in the room?). She also thinks Hammer took and shared pics of her tied up. And while Lorenze participated, at times enjoyed and allowed all this bed-play, she claims that over time, her encounters with the Long Ranger became non-consensual.

And non-consensual is pretty damn hard to abide.

Now, to be fair to Hammer,  his attorney patently dienes Lorenze’s claims as much as surfing other accusations, from another Hammer ex, that the actor told her he wanted to break her rib, barbecue, and eat it and that Hammer stepped down from starring in the movie Shotgun Wedding, because of supposedly leaking messages to other women of his cannibalistic fantasies. The paraphilia called Vorarepilia (‘vore’ for short), like many a fetish/fantasy, doesn’t necessarily have to be enacted for the person to get off on, so there is no proof that Hammer wanted to do much more than talk about eating flesh. And yes, I will give you that Lorezne’s claims of Hammer’s interests might be more extreme than just wanting to give your lover a spanking on their birthday, but if Lorenze never voiced her feelings, as put upon and abused as she feels now, can Hammer be accused of much more than some non-vanilla desires?

The take-away from this should be…if you do ever feel you are in a non-consensual situation either make your feelings known or get the fuck out! (or both)!Nobody should ever do something for another person that they do not want to do. If it’s Ari Hammer or Ralph Greco, asking.

Sky-high naughty fun with Lori and Eric Harmon

There is sexual exhibitionism, and then there is…? I don’t know what you’d call this but, Lori and Eric Harmon, a married couple from South Carolina, was arrested last week after police found a video the couple posted showing them performing an “unspecified sex act” while riding the “SkyWheel.” This Ferris wheel sits on the oceanfront in Myrtle Beach, part of the popular SkyWheel entertainment area at that S.C. coastal town. The Harmon’s seemed to have enjoyed each other a month ago on one of the ride’s glass gondola, but you know what they say about couples who do the nasty in a glass gondola…people can see it!

Hoping even more people would see them, the 36-year-olds posted a video of their sky-high adventuring on a porn site.

The Harmons were charged with indecent exposure and preparation of prohibited obscene material. In addition to their SkyWheel footage, the couple has also posted videos showing themselves in other outdoor locations, engaged in randy PSA’s. There is one video where they have sex (with each other) in a community pool and one where Mrs. Harmon exposes herself and then urinates on a vending machine (was the Zagnut bar she slipped in her quarters to buy too stale?) as well as in a public elevator.

I love these stories about people “busting their nuts” out and about, obviously getting-off on public exposure. But being so careless (or so in need of attention) that one posts videos that later gets one caught is just plain dumb (and at 36, these two should have known better). What happened to the good old days where you’d take your guy or girl behind the pool house at a family picnic, enjoy a few minutes of the old in-out-in-out, get off on where you were doing it, but still keep what you were doing mostly on the DL? 

Let’s all remember: just because you can do something doesn’t always mean you should. And even more importantly: just because you CAN post a video, tweet an idea, make a blog doesn’t mean you should.

And to Lori Harmon…girl, find a bathroom already! Jeez!

Remember, you can find our podcast here, and here, amongst other spots.

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