As Chris and I will tell you until the cows come home (and really, where are those freakin’ cows, man?!) we have met some fantastic people down the highways and byways (and bi) working in the adult field. One of these people is surely Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey. Coming on her show, as Chris and I both have, and having her on LNV (episode #13 ) we learned how special, smart and all-around super-neat cool lovely Dr. Lori was. I also learned that the lady is originally from a small little ‘burb not mere minutes from my home, how’s that for a small world?
The good (and yes, mighty attractive doctor…sorry, there’s the hetero in me coming out) is talking about PCD, post-coital dysphoria, also known as post-sex blues, where many people experience feelings of irritability, sadness or anxiety after consensual sex.
And you best listen!
The Accredited Advanced GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity) therapist, registered psychologist and sex, intimacy & relationship coach and author. Dr. B. says that while there are many theories and contributing factors as to why this phenomenon occurs in both men and women, “there hasn’t been much research yet, so causes are speculative.”
She goes on to further note that “a history of sexual abuse and/or sexual trauma could pre-dispose individuals to PCD, as the traumatic experience could be triggered by some aspect of the consensual sex. Anxiety can be related. Also, sometimes people have sex that they believe they want, and then realize afterwards that it wasn’t the best idea. Concerns about whether their performance was good enough and if their partner was really satisfied can also have an impact.”
She also theorizes that “shame around sex can lead to PCD, and anxiety about performance before sex is something to watch for, and PCD can also lead to sex avoidance, which can have a negative impact on a relationship as the partner may fear that sex is being avoided because the person is not attracted to them any longer.
“This can lead to performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction as a result, which can sometimes start a negative cycle with a partner – so it is best to deal with this quickly. Speak to your doctor about it to make sure that there are no physical health issues and consider speaking to a therapist who can help deal with any underlying psychological causes.”
To learn more about Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, find and follow her at: