Sexy, Strong, Talented…Diana Rigg

A couple of years ago, Chris and I were in Las Vegas attending the Sin In The City kink convention, as we had a few years in a row by that point. I think for this particular weekend, we were presenting a Tit Torture and a Cupping class but were much more interested (as we always are) in just hanging out with one another. As we do when we get together (and as you have undoubtedly heard us on the podcast, and if you go here, or here you can hear the podcast), we got to talking about T.V. and movies. Chris began to tell me about the “A Touch Of Brimstone” episode from The Avengers T.V. show (see a fantastic clip of it here).

I got to thinking about that show, and all things Diana Rigg, who played the iconic, sexy and certainly fetish-y dressed Emma Peel on the show when I heard that Rigg had died this week at the age of 82

Man, was this lady a saucy minx! The leather catsuits she wore, the karate-chopping, sporting miniskirts later on the in series before they were 60’s fashionable, Rigg’s Peel was a wet dream to so many even when many weren’t so sure that that dream they were having was ‘normal.’ What I didn’t know though, researching for this blog and a few others I wrote this week about the lady (see here), was that beyond being unafraid to show off her fantastic body Rigg also birthed quite a controversy fighting for an increase in her salary on that show. Earning £90 per week for The Avengers at first, Rigg found out one of the show’s cameraman was earning £120. The lady went to show’s producers and fought for the gender pay inequity at a time that no woman would ever dare do so, and her salary was doubled. Nobody supporter her (not that an actress indeed could), and newspapers branded her ungrateful at the time. 

How’s that for a lady who kicks ass on screen and off?!

Appearing in tons of films, T.V., and stage appearances after The Avengers, winning Tony, Emmy awards, and being titled a Dame, Rigg’s enjoyed even more fame later in life playing playing “Olenna Tyrell” in Game of Thrones

But let’s not forget how sexy and strong the lady was. And how kinky that “A Touch Of Brimstone” episode was…hell, how so much of what Rigg brought to the show just dripped of good old fashioned, naughty empowerment.

RIP, Diana Rigg.

The Bella Thorne ‘OnlyFans’ Controversy

For those of you not in the know, OnlyFans is a portal for salacious content creators to sell stuff. People sell other stuff there too, but mainly porn stars populate the site; this is just the fact, Jack, as it has been there since 2016 when the site started. People can buy and even tip there, and lots of people make their daily bread selling their video (and other) content off of OnlyFans. But none other than Bella Thorne joined recently, making a cool two-mill in a matter of days pimping a nude picture of herself for $200.00. The thing is, the ex-Disney star did not give forth this pay-per-view “nude,” and this led to the OnlyFans getting slammed with refund requests. And although the powers-that-be at the site claim Thorne’s doings had nothing to do with the policy change, the site changed their refund time from a week to a full month and now allows only a top charge of $50 per spots with tips capped at 100 dollars.

Bella apologized, claiming she joined OnlyFans to research an upcoming film she was making with Sean Baker. Baker denies this.

The lady went further to offer: “I wanted to bring attention to the site, the more people on the site the more likely a chance to normalize the stigmas, and in trying to do this, I hurt you. I have risked my career a few times to remove the stigma behind sex work, porn, and the natural hatred people spew behind anything sex-related.”

Back-peddling? Legit apology? Research gone awry? Who knows? This wouldn’t be the first time someone from the mainstream pop world has tickled a foot into porn with a less-than-stellar outcome. Most probably, Bella’s traipse into the light naughtytastic will be old forgotten news by next week, but she may have left some certainly lasting bad juju in her wake.

Interestingly enough, one of our upcoming guests will give forth even more on this subject, so stayed tuned.

In the meantime, catch all 15 of Licking Non-Vanilla shows here.

Don’t Kink Where You Eat

Aren’t your uncles Chris and Ralph always telling you to be careful when/where and how you kink? Time and again, you’ll hear us lecture about safety, hygiene, and discretion (and lube, lots and lots of lube). I just read a story that bubbles forth all kinds of cautions.

Let me share…

As many young women have done and will continue to do, Redditor ThrowawayRA7482 was working as an online dominatrix. This 19-year-old specializes in financial domination, something she started hoping to make extra college money but a job that slowly became a full-time gig for her. For those of you who do not know or have never opened your wallet or purse to this particular kink, the dom in question makes demands on their sub for money, pure and simple. The ‘servitude’ here is in the sub surrendering their hard-earned cash when ordered to do so and even, in the case of Redditor ThrowawayRA7482 and the one client she got in trouble with, making the man forgo vacations with his family, and other adjustments. The problem here in this one case that got Red in trouble is that a man she was domming was a family friend she had known for years. The man’s wife got her hands on her husband’s phone, found his conversations with his dom (please people, stay vigilant in erasing your messages!) and recognized Redditor from her profile. Redditor then had her parents calling her, obviously upset for a multitude of reasons.

Knowing the girl well before she was of legal age then engaging her as your pro dom (it seems though when she was of legal age) makes all this ‘don’t dom where you eat’ mess even ickier. But for men (and women) who might enjoy this kink (and really, to each his own when it comes to kinks, online or off, though this one can get costly!), for the ladies (and men) who dom there subs any which way, there is a lot to consider in this cautionary tale. All morality aside—and you know we never male moral judgments on our podcast—one needs to be careful with what puts ‘out there,’ these days, whether providing a service or partaking of one (and it doesn’t even need to be a sexual service). And trying to keep secrets from those you live with, if your secrets include changes in your lifestyle…well….good luck with that!

Please, listen to your wise old uncles Chris and Ralph…be careful out there.

Episode #15-Talking with Sarah Sloane about Hastagopen…and beyond

Sarah Sloane is undoubtedly somebody who gives good convo. As Chris and I found out and have now downloaded for you in Licking Non-Vanilla’s latest podcast episode, #15 (go here or here to hear it).

Sarah is a sex, kink, relationship educator and coach, and the director of operations & communications at #open – a dating app that prioritizes personal empowerment and choice. There are lots of people out there looking as much for traditional relationships as kink and ethical non-monogamy ones; hastagopen provides that platform. For the past two decades, Sarah has been helping others create the sex, intimacy, and relationships that they desire through education & personal coaching, and lately, she’s been helping #open create those opportunities for members from all over the world.

I came to Sarah via hastagopen when she set up an interview with me and with one of the app’s founders, David Epstein, for an article I did here on my weekly sex column. Like the excellent publicist, educator, sex-positive person she is, the lovely Sarah followed up with me about seeing if we might connect across the podcast, and was so giving with her time.

Yes, we spoke lots about hastagopen, as you will hear. Chris signed up for the app, so he had his unique user perspective, but we went above and beyond, jawing with Sarah about all kinds of sex stuff, of which the lovely, smart, and very open lady knows so much about.

As you’ll hear, we had Sarah on for the entire show!

I don’t think you need to be working in the adult field, have to indulge in kinks every second Tuesday of the month (for me, it’s a Thursday night), must have published a ton of books of erotica, or even need to sign up to a dating app to realize that everybody comes to sex, life, love, work, etc. in their way and if that way doesn’t impinge on anybody else’s way then that way is perfectly ok.

And, really, a dating app like hastag open, these discussions Chris and I have consistently on Licking Non-Vanilla, what somebody like Sarah Sloane supports and educates people on, is all this is about…letting people find, enjoy and have their way. 

If you ignored the links up top, you can find hashtagopen here. Sarah Sloane here and here. And our episode with her here.

Living Vicariously: Mulatto, Dawnamatrix Designs…and little ol’ me

From time to time, I report on the other stuff that Chris and I get up to, writing, classes, and such that are not precisely related to this Licking Non-Vanilla podcast (which you can find here and here). We try and keep busy…gamely employed…the dull organ we call a brain spinning best it can. In this regard, one of the clients I write for is the supremely talented, super-dooper nice, too-cool-for-her-own-good (and doesn’t even know how cool she is) exceedingly smart (even for a girl…alright everybody, take it down a notch, I was only being funny with that last ‘even for a girl’ statement!), Dawn Mostow of Dawnamatrix Designs. Based in Atlanta, Dawn creates stunning latex couture for private clients, commercials, catalogs, runway, and magazines, and people like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, for movies like “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2″ and for a just aired episode of DC’s “Doom Patrol.” Just recently, Dawn provided her Latex Lux Bra to Mulatto, for a photoshoot that the 21-year-old rapper had in Atlanta.  

Mulatto (real name Alyssa Michelle Stephens) released her debut album, Queen of Da Souf this month, as well as dropping the video for her song “Muwop” (see the video here), featuring rapper Gucci Mane. Mulatto is undoubtedly one of the most popular rising lady rap stars on the scene, and even appears in Cardi B’s “WAP,” which you pretty much have to have been living under a rock (or quarantined too tightly) to have not heard about, let alone seen. Her songs are tough and cool, videos super sexy, and she champions female empowerment…and like lots of modern-day divas, Mulatto has a very cool fashion sense.

‘Cool-as-school’ I should say, with her stylists Tabitha Sanchez and Todd White contacting Dawn for her most recent shoot.

Ok, I’ll admit I am living more than slightly vicariously through Dawnamatrix Designs here, as I do when Chris reports on some new cool gig or some science fiction author he’s met. I’m just one of those people who take such pleasure in the accomplishments of the people I know and care for, and I thought this 3/4 or even more degree-of-separation relation was something worth writing about.
And I am so happy for Dawn.

You can check out Dawnamatrix Designs here. And see Mulatto wearing the Dawnamatrix Lux Bra, from two different angels, here and here.

Episode #14-The Keys To The Kinkdom

Sometimes on one of our Licking Non-Vanilla podcasts, it’s just Chris and I gabbing. This is what you get in our “Keys To The Kinkdom” episode, #14, up now (go here and here—just two of the places to hear it—to check it out). And sometimes, we really like it this way.
It’s not that Chris and I have so much ready sex-positive information at our fingertips (ok, maybe we do) or that we like listening to ourselves talk (ok, we really do) or that we can’t get a guest to come on to our podcast (listen across our episodes and you see that we have, and I promise we will continue to). It’s just that Licking Non-Vanilla was created by yours truly, two big knuckleheads, and sometimes those heads just want to knuckle together.
The thing about kinks is: (and this is true of almost every other aspect of life) everybody has their way of doing what they like to do. Whether in our classes at kink conventions, in what we write or what we might go on about in the podcast, we can’t rightly tell anyone what is or isn’t right for them. Yes, you will hear Chris, and I talk about things we do not like, things we feel are dangerous, even if you are only just dipping the proverbial toe-in-the-water with your explorations (breath play, needles, are two of the biggies that come to mind) and lots of stuff we have seen, maybe even done, we might give a thought to doing again. But beyond the safety cautions for each kind of play (safety cautions everyone should enact and adhere to no matter how seasoned one is), we say, have at that which you want to have at you.
In this particular “Keys To The Kingdom” episode (here is another place you can find Licking Non-Vanilla), we give an overview of what you maybe be looking for, what’s out there, and how to go find it. In future episodes where it’s just us, two knuckleheads, we will get into specifics about spanking, tit torture, cupping, and a whole bunch of other nasty fun stuff.
So keep your ears peeled and your pants down, more Licking Non-Vanilla is always coming your way.

Trouble at the Armory?

Far be it for Chris and me to ever really get political or into anything to do with the law. We rather keep things fun, kinky, and always sex-positive on our Licking Non-Vanilla’s shows. But I read about this case last week, and since the place, this news story is about was pretty much ground zero for kink for a very long time San Francisco, and it’s somewhere Chris, and I have been, (solo and together, even our friend, Lisa Weinberger, guest of episode # 11, also visited with Chris and I way back when), I couldn’t avoid a little exploration of the news that was announced last week about The Armory.

A Ninth Circuit federal appellate court ruled against Armory Studios LLC and owner Peter Acworth in a lawsuit they were bringing against their former insurance company, Atain Specialty. The court held in agreement with an earlier low court opinion that Atain did not have to cover suit costs and settlements that arrived from a lawsuit filed five years ago against the kink establishment and Acworth. These lawsuits claimed that performers filming in the Armory contracted HIV. Acworth claims that these performers shot for a company called Cybernet Entertainment, who was merely a tenant of the Armory.

You can guess the complications.

The Armory space and Acworth’s, who filmed there, is a massive edifice. Through its many floors, you can find lots of set pieces, and even rooms taken down to their bare walls, (making for even more perfect set pieces) where the fun sexual tortures were as much enacted by partiers or kink filmmakers. The two times I visited were as a guest of, and it was a naughty fun time had by all.

 We often talk about the Armory on our show, and you can look up lots about it, and on the net.

Our Lucky #13 Podcast with Special Guest, Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey.

Here, here and here (to name just a few platforms where you can find the Licking Non-Vanilla podcast), you can catch our most recent and most ‘lucky’ #13 podcast, where Chris and I talk to the wonderful Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey.

The ever so beguiling and incredibly smart Dr. Lori is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach, speaker, author & podcaster living in London. She has had Chris and me on her author-as-guest podcast “Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey’s Erotic Library” (I told you she was smart, she has such great taste in the authors she picks to be on her show). We wanted as much to return the favor as have the lady on to give forth on sex-positivity.

Yes, this lady has lots of credits listed, lots of letter ‘titles’ after her name, but the proof is in the puddin’as they say, and Dr. Lori’s puddin’ is rich, gooey and yummy indeed (in all the ways one might come to consider). Quite frankly, Chris and I could have gone on talking to the lady for hours; she is that knowledgeable about the hurdles we all are jumping over in modern society when it comes to our sexual needs, fears and assumptions.

As Chris and I often say, when you are in the company of or get to speak to people as passionate and whip-smart as Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, it ‘ups your game’ in how you think about things, and how your perceptions might be forever altered. This is how we both felt after delving deep into episode 13 with Dr. Lori.

Chris and I don’t really deliver Licking Non-Vanilla, assuming we are helping anyone specifically with a sexual problem they might be undergoing. We aren’t scientists or therapists. All we can hope for is that LNV entertains and maybe by bringing on guests like Dr. Lori, we can offer a little ray of hope to someone listening in who might be suffering through some sexual conundrum or, because they heard how caring and intuitive Dr. Lori is, might seek our a therapist or even a friend to help alleviate a relationship worry to two.

Or at least find a way to better fucking, sucking, and orgasms by talking things out with their lover.

Thanks, Dr. Lori, it was a pleasure having you on. Here are just a few of the places you can find her (here and here). Listen to our episode #13, and Dr. Lori will tell you even more places to find her and the good work she does.

Diving Deep Into Cardi B’s “WAP”

The nasty lyric, over-the-top production, A-list guest stars, and Cardi B’s super sexy persona, fuel her just ‘dropped’ “WAP,” video. A little long in the tooth for this kind of pop song as I am, still, I can’t help but notice the outrageous artistry of what Cardi B and her modern-day diva sisters manage here.

There are naked female ‘statues’ squirting fountains of water from their breasts, fronting a large mansion the viewer is introduced to just as the video starts and the gates of the place open. As the music starts, Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion strut down an Alice-In-Wonderland like hallway of skewed perspective, wearing matching chiffon leotards of opposite colors, yet matching the walls around them. Their bouncing endowments on full display, one could think this song is about breasts, but actually, the lyric celebrates a part of the female anatomy a little further south; WAP stands for “Wet-ass p*ssy.”

There are lots of animals here, snakes and tigers mostly, and other candy-colored rooms, and as you can bet, a startling amount of costume changes. Again, you don’t have to dig rap, or even like music videos to enjoy this sexy romp. I have watched “WAP” now a few times, with the sound off.

Although stars like Mulatto, Rosalia, and Sukihana appear here, the most startling visual moment might just be the cameo by Kylie Jenner (see the picture above), strutting down the hallway. She wears a Rey Ortiz leopard print leotard, (well open at her chest), matching thigh-high boots and gloves. The ensemble sports a ridiculously long leopard print cape, which we get an unobstructed view of during a shot from behind Jenner, in which she also shows off her very pert derriere.

As Chris and I try hard on our Licking Non-Vanilla podcasts (go here or here to hear them) to explore, expound upon and enjoy as much of our sexual culture as we can, we couldn’t rightly let a video like Cardi B’s “WAP” by without a comment.

Enjoy the video here.

Episode #12: Speaking With Lance Hart

Chris and I are thrilled to speak with award-winning adult film star Lance Hart on our new episode #12 .

Lance was a fantastic guest, as you will hear, giving us a solid half-hour of his time to discuss his career, his philosophy on the work he does, and generally his oh-so-positive outlook on life. What a great guy to speak with.

If you name the porn studio, Lance has probably worked with them, especially one of Chris and my favorite’s (we had a good jaw about “The Armory” space kink used to own, and Chris and I visited…we told you about this across a few of our earlier shows) and Lance’s own production company, PervOUT (which you can find here). 

He told us he pretty much had and continues to have a blast for all that he’s done. And for the second year in a row, Lance is up for AltPorn Awards Best Male Performer of the Year (he won in 2019) and is also nominated for “Best AltPorn Membership Site” for one of those studios under his PervOUT company, The advertising on that site says, Female Domination has no protocol. Sometimes Dommes need dick too. Here you will find really hot women doing mean things to men. The girls on this site like to fuck guys with strapons, knee them in the balls, sit on their faces, use their dicks for pleasure and drain 100% of their cum from them. The women here like masculine strong men to wear girl clothes sometimes, and sometimes they get them to do girly things with them.

Lane seems to as much use his prodigious ‘talent’ (if you know what I mean) as getting himself worked out and on pretty much across the spectrum of adult visual fare. His sex-positive scenes are with girls, guys, trans, employing kinks and good old everyday fucking and sucking. As Chris remarked, there doesn’t seem anything Lance has not done and done very well and hot, indeed.

Gotta love a man who is so amiable.

Once again, we need to thank Erika Icon of adult PR firm The Rub PR for setting us up to talk with Lance, as she has her clients in the past (Neil, from clips4sale in LNV episode #7) and we hope more in the future.

You can find Erika’s company here.

And our episode #12, with Lance Hart here.

Create your website at
Get started