Cock cages, butt holes, and a big thick catalog: Episode #30, Talking To Josh Ortiz of XRBrands

Really, you know how much they have gotten away from you…those naughty pink parts. How many times have you gotten in trouble where you have ‘placed’ yourself or who you have placed yourself with, in, and around? Doesn’t it seem like sometimes you’d be a hell of a lot better off having the old bait-and-tackle caged and locked or an orifice plugged? Yes, we’d like it if you could learn some control!

On Episode 30 of Licking Non-Vanilla, Chris and I speak with Josh Ortiz, Brand Ambassador of XR Brands, about his extensive line of adult toys, which include some aren’t anal invaders and cock cages as just about anything else you care to name.

Josh and XR have been supplying kinky toys in their safe and sane way to the community for over two decades, so he certainly knows of what he speaks. Chris and I especially loved how he didn’t shirk from what often becomes a leather-clad elephant in the room when it comes to sex toys…price.

Josh is well aware that for many people, the price of adult toys and sex aids is often way out of the reach of the everyday player or even a curious couple who’d like to try something but don’t because of how expensive toys can be. So, working with inclusivity in mind, Josh has brought XR forward as much by producing an extensive catalog of well-made items for just about every kink and desire but also making sure to have produced many of those items affordably.

This we were most impressed with…and of course, Josh;’s candor and his ability to not take himself too seriously…which is something Chris and I try for too.

I hope you get a chance to listen to our 30th episode (man, 30 wow!) and will also stop on over to XR Brands to give John’s stuff a gander.

Here’s their catalog.

Thanks Josh!

Penny Barber Is Coming To Teach You A Lesson

You might be getting sick of hearing Chris, and I say this, but we really do happen to interview some of the sexiest, smartest, and all-around nicest people for Licking Non-Vanilla. The list is as long as our near thirty episodes will show. And even before we put shows up, sometimes I like to give you a little preview of one we recently recorded…yes, which I will blog about even more when the show is posted (I am a sucker for redundancy).

We happened just to finish a show where we spoke with the fabulous MILF adult star, Penny Barber. Penny is an ABDL Mommy Dom specializing in diaper discipline, sissy training, and humiliation. And she is the very best ‘mommy’ anybody will ever need. She is also a great guest to interview, opening her heart and mind to giving honest answers to questions about what she does, how she does, and the industry in general.

Chris and I had a grand old chinwag with Penny about the nuts-and-bolts of creating content, how she was so very thrilled to be honored with Best MILF Clip Artist from the XBIZ Cam Awards for 2021, and how she balances creating clips with just running her business. It was fascinating stuff for Chris and me, written content creators that we are, to learn about the world of writing, shooting, performing in, editing, then posting and advertising from Penny’s solo creation perspective.

Yes, the industry has changed so much from the days of VHS tapes, and Penny has been smart enough, has found the right niche for her sensibilities, and works tirelessly to keep relevant, happy, and a good balance between her work and her home life.

As I will when we post the Penny Barber interview, below I’ve posted just a few of the places you can presently find Penny. I suggest all you wayward boys and girls, looking for a good mommy disciplinarian (or just a good old sexy romp of a time), search out Penny. You’ll be glad you did.

She’s on Mom Swap with “Stepmommy Pies” momswap.com/movies/stepmommy-pies and Free Use MILF with “Fuck Doing Chores” freeusemilf.com/movies/fuck-doing-chores.

Follow her Twitter at @pamperedpenny and Instagram @PennyBarberMILF. Support her art by subscribing to her official site tabooview.com, buying her clips at Clips4Sale clips4sale.com/studio/18369/miss-penny-barber, and clips4sale.com/studio/11315/pampered-penny and ManyVids manyvids.com/Profile/147843/Penny-Barber/Store/Videos, as well as subscribing to her OnlyFans at onlyfans.com/pamperedpenny. “Like” her Pornhub videos pornhub.com/pornstar/penny-barber. Check out her mainstream and Indie projects at pennybarberfilms.com.

Meet Lily Craven

In a couple of weeks, I’m going to be interviewed on Lily Craven’s “Phone Sex with Lily” show, and very soon, we will return the favor here on Licking Non-Vanilla. But I figured, why not tell you all about this wonderful lady now…and have you learn a little lesson from your uncle Ralphie about interpersonal relationships.

First, let’s talk about Lily. She is a MILF-fastic performer/producer of content, as well as radio host of “Phone Sex with Lily” on K97FM Radio. While snooping across Facebook on her cheating husband, she came across a group that appeared to be making sex sales out of their inbox. Finding out that this was not prostitution, as she first thought, Lily started selling her own content out of the “Pizza Daddies” group. Her menu here includes live chat, pre-made videos and pics, custom videos, sexting, wearable sales, and more.

Since then, she’s created the “Camp Morningwood” group and merged with another group to sell her sexy content. Lily most enjoys the taboo/age play fetish, as much where she gets to play the ‘naughty aunty’ as explore the step mommy/stepson fetish.

And from what I have heard and seen, she is very good at it!

As a side note and where I will most certainly meet her, I am sure Lily has been given the “media hat,” as she calls it, for this year’s Exxxotica Expos. I am attending the NJ stop of this get-together, and so is she.

A lady with quite a diverse past, from stripping for a bit in her late teens to being married and raising a family, to divorcing and then remarrying and owning an oilfield storage and trucking company with her new husband, to earning a college degree at the age of forty, to doing all she does in adult, Lily is a true Renaissance woman.

She is also aces when it comes to fostering connections, even with someone she doesn’t know all that well.

I first reached out to Lily off of the XBIZ.com site. She had put a call out for interview subjects for her radio show, and we had all, but maybe four emails back and forth where we determined that yes, she’d want me for her show and that we’d want her for ours. Lily happened to mention BlushErotica.com as one of the companies she works for…and so loves.

I flicked the old cursor over to the BE website and found they were looking for scriptwriters. So I reached out (frankly, I don’t think I mentioned Lily at first ‘blush’…sorry for the pun). But within no more than two emails back and forth with the good people at Blush, I found that somewhere in the back and forth, Lily had put in a good word for me…again, we hardly even knew one another!

Yes, I couldn’t have furthered interest from Blush Erotica unless they liked what I sent them. But there you are, another connection made, from connecting with another person I hardly knew but came to talk about me in a positive light.

And there’s the lesson, kids. Like-minded, good-hearted people do often find one another. Just when I am down on the human race, this kind of a thing happens, and I think, ‘Well, maybe we all ain’t so bad after all.’

Thanks to Lily Craven, check her out at these spots: lilycravenxxx.com, lilycraven.manyvids.com, Twitter @lilycravenXXX or @lily40xxx, IG @real_lilycraven, FB @lily.craven40

Or join her live on: Chaturbate.com/lily40

Check out the Licking Non Vanilla podcast, here, here and here.

When Dildos Are Used As…Intimidation

Even if you’ve never watched one, you are probably aware of what an MMA match entails. The kicking, boxing, clutching sport is undoubtedly more popular than ever and a sure audience rating grabber. So is all the trash-talking and fighter posturing, fueling fans to take to the sport, sometimes more than they even would for the action. And during a ceremonial High League weigh-in this week, well viewed and captured by and for the sport’s rabid fanbase, Poland’s Ewa Brodnicka handed her opponent, Aniela Bogusz, a dildo.
High League hosted an event with the two fighters as a co-main event for a highly-anticipated featherweight match-up.
Brodnicka has managed these kinds of mind-games before. For example, during a 2019 face-off with Edith Solidad, she kissed her opponent during a press face-off. And there are enough sexy snaps of the lady across the web, whether posing in revealing MMA garb or across Instagram, where Brodnicka is showing herself off in a bikini, reveal how much she enjoys her sexuality and playing with it.
In fairness, Aniela Bogusz is also a lady who has posted quite a few alluring pictures.
In the clip captured from this recent incident with Bogusz, you can clearly see Brodnicka taking the wrapped sex toy from her trainer, stepping to her opponent, and unwrapping the dildo behind her back. By the time the two women were face-to-face, Brodnicka lifted and rubbed the dildo in Bogusz’s face, then slapped her before Bogusz threw a kick at her.
Luckily security intervened.
Brodnicka’s dildo brandishing was not enough to spin Bogusz’s mental wheels, though. She lost to Bogusz by TKO in Round 3. One can pose, intimidate, and amp up sexual tension even, but the true test comes in MMA when the feet and fists begin to fly. Maybe Brodnicka used the dildo later to ease her losing woes.

Hands Off My Porn!

This is the kind of story Chris, and I just love! I’d dare say any listener to Licking Non-Vanilla (which you listen to here, here, or here) would feel tickled by this as well.

It seems U.S District Judge Paul Maloney ordered a western Michigan mom and dad to pay $30,441 to their son for dumping the son’s extensive porn collection. David Werking, the man ‘aggrieved’, enjoyed the judge’s specific decision this week on what the parents owe after the judge ruled in favor of David’s lawsuit eight months ago. According to accounting from emails that went back and forth between son and father, David’s collection, including individual titles of 1,605 DVDs and VHS tapes, was worth $25,000.

Werking had lived at his folks’ home in Grand Haven, Michigan, for near a year post his divorce, then moved to Muncie, Indiana. Unwilling to get the collection over to Muncie and uncomfortable with it sitting in their home, the elder Werkings destroyed the David’s naughty stuff. David learned about this after moving to Indiana and inquiring after his porn.

“Frankly, David, I did you a big favor getting rid of all this stuff,” David’s dad said via email.

It’s important also to note that The Ottowa County Sheriff’s Office in Michigan reviewed David’s collection and reported it contained no child pornography. So, it is legal property someone (even though that someone was a blood relative and owned the domicile where the material was housed) deemed offense and simply threw away.

This reminds me of a story that happened a couple of years ago around my ‘burb.

A dentist owns a big ranch house on a corner in a semi-well-to-do neighborhood about five minutes from my house (my house is in a middle-class neighborhood). He takes to outfitting (some would say littering) his house, garage, front lawn and driveway with mannequins, and all manner of decorations depending on the holiday. He begins usually with a huge Halloween display he starts tinkering with mid-September and has traffic backing up throughout October to view his amazing corner visual treat. Yes, it’s a nuisance to those who live around that way…but it ain’t illegal.

Come Easter and July 4th this one particular year (2019 when all was still normal and fun round planet Earth way), the good doctor set female mannequins in his driveway for Easter dressed in bikinis and bunny ears, for the fourth in just red, white and blue bikinis. A neighbor found the display offensive and came onto the property and broke one of the mannequins in half.

She was offended, just like David Werking’s parents were, but it’s illegal to destroy other people’s shit! And the lady was slapped with a summons.

Score one for Judge Maloney, we say. Buy just think what could have been in David’s collection?!

Oh, I did get round to seeing the mannequins, even with one ripped in half.

Oh No, Not The Dripping Nipple!

So, they are at it again.

Keeping us forever safe from the crack, the hole, the staff, any secretion or even an errant wisp of hair, the powers-that-be on Instagram have deemed the drop of milk dripping from the nipple on the poster of Pedro Almodóvar’s new film Madres Paralelas (Parallel Mothers) too shocking for the public. 

The poster artist though Javier Jaén, took to Instagram once again to sneak another viewing of the image. As he wrote in Spanish with the post of the poster: “As expected @instagram has removed the poster we made for Almodóvar’s latest film #madresparalelas. I will post it again. Thank you for sharing it.”

Sony Pictures Classics’ website printed this as the beginning synopsis of the film: “Two women, Janis and Ana, coincide in a hospital room where they are going to give birth. Both are single and became pregnant by accident.” Instagram seeming needs to ignore the obvious and very real consequence of childbirth…lactation.

Set off by the Janet Jackson Superbowl halftime nipple-gate controversy of 2004, I have often considered just what it is culture watchdogs find so offensive when an ass crack or nipple is shown (on the T.V. show Botched, they are forever blurring ass crack and nipple, although you can clearly see both through the blur. If one measures by just the sheer amount of skin exposed, then we all see so much tit and booty in modern-day video already (and Cardi B or Megan Thee Stallion don’t have a monopoly on this, we have seen lots of skin for a lot of years). Those areas denied our spying (where nipple lie or ass crack cuts) is such a small fraction of the great expanse of soft pink areas we do get to enjoy.

What I have always felt it comes down to is that nipple, ass crack, public hair, certainly an erect penis or engorged wet vagina, hint at function. Nipples lactate. A penis and, God forbid, an angry hard one, ejaculate. That hole in that ass crack is the exit for any number of nasty human functions…and on and on. And while we claim to love the human form, God’s temple, and all that, the last thing we ever want to consider is our bodys’ more smelly, juicy, and often loud doings.    

Want more reasoned consideration of culture, sex and life? Hop on by and give our podcast a listen. Here, here or here. In the meantime, keep your stuff well covered, really nobody wants to see it.

Episode #29: Speaking to erotica writer Megan Hussey

In a clear case of you certainly can judge a book by its cover (or in this case the author’s name) Chris and I delve deep into the writing stylings of naughty scribe Megan Hussey on our just posted, episode #29.

It’s certainly fun for erotica writers to speak with other erotica writers, at least if you are the kind of erotica writers that Chris and I are. We love a good jaw about the business, about the process, about the ins-and-outs of speaking of characters doing the old ‘in-out-in-out’ as Alex says. As much as we can commiserate, we usually learn something new about the old writing things we never considered and come to see how somebody else does what we do.

When you are lucky to speak to somebody as open, sweet and smart as Megan (and speak to her we did here and here, to name only but a few places to hear, enjoy and masturbate over LNV) you get taken into the writer’s life, their world, get to look out at the things they experience in the singular manner in which they come to view things. Speaking to Megan as much as reading her work, you certainly get a strong author’s sense of things and a unique vision.

Chris and I got this, and more, in spades talking to the lady.

Charlie Chaplin was fond of saying that if the audience really wanted to know him all they had to do was watch his movies. I think this general rule of getting to know somebody by what they produce, be they a director, writer, musician, someone who sees their artful expression in the tending of their side-of-the-house garden, whatever it might be, is one we should all live by. It’s also how we can come to love someone’s art but not them all that much. But getting to know somebody by a brief talk, as Chris and I do with Megan Hussey on our knew episode, will give you a smidgen more insight into this wonderful writer and what’s on her mind.

Thank you, Megan. You can find her at her Amazon author page and her sexpert.com spot, https://www.sexpert.com/author/megan-hussey/.

Thanks again Megan.

In a clear case of you certainly can judge a book by its cover (or in this case the author’s name) Chris and I delve deep into the writing stylings of naughty scribe Megan Hussy on our just posted, episode #29.

It’s certainly fun for erotica writers to speak with other erotica writers, at least if you are the kind of erotica writers that Chris and I are. We love a good jaw about the business, about the process, about the ins-and-outs of speaking of characters doing the old ‘in-out-in-out’ as Alex says. As much as we can commiserate, we usually learn something new about the old writing things we never considered and come to see how somebody else does what we do.

When you are lucky to speak to somebody as open, sweet and smart as Megan (and speak to her we did here and here, to name only but a few places to hear, enjoy and masturbate over LNV) you get taken into the writer’s life, their world, get to look out at the things they experience in the singular manner in which they come to view things. Speaking to Megan as much as reading her work, you certainly get a strong author’s sense of things and a unique vision.

Chris and I got this, and more, in spades talking to the lady.

Charlie Chaplin was fond of saying that if the audience really wanted to know him all they had to do was watch his movies. I think this general rule of getting to know know somebody by what they produce, be they a director, writer, musician, someone who sees their artful expression in the tending of their side-of-the-house garden, whatever it might be, is one we should all live by. It’s also how we can come to love someone’s art but not them all that much. But getting to know somebody by a brief talk, as Chris and I do with Megan Hussy on our knew episode, will give you a smidgen more insight into this wonderful writer and what’s on her mind.

Thank you Megan. You can find her at her Amazon author page.

Oh, that wacky Olympic wardrobe

Falling well into the ‘maybe we have other more important shit to deal with these days’ category, have you seen all the hoopla made over the Norwegian woman beach volleyball teams’ refusal to wear their ‘regulation’ bikini bottoms when playing? Supposedly the team could be fined for the violation of wearing shorts, as they did just recently, but the ladies claim they are more comfortable playing in outfits that cover them more. Although bikinis were the assigned uniform for women’s Olympic beach volleyball players, the dress code was recently changed by the Federation of International Volleyball and the new uniform guidelines allow shorts as an option. I’d say that these women, who have worked damn hard to get the chance to represent their country, as all Olympians do, should wear what they want, if it does not impinge on the play of their opponent.

As much of dyed-in-the-wool self-described (and proud of it) perverts Chris and I are, we aren’t much checking out Olympic team sports for how much skin we might spy on a female volleyball player. We’re too busy realizing how far away from these amazing physical specimens we are…and will always be.

Again, is this what we should be worrying about right now? Not only with COVID-19 having and still putting the games in jeopardy and seeing how it’s anybody’s guess how/why and if Olympic viewing is currently passe?’ See these two drastically different views on this question:

Here and here.

German gymnasts are also changing up their couture, standing up to what they claim is the “sexulization in gymnastics” by wearing a unitard instead of their traditional leotard which will cover their legs and arms. Again, all the more power to them. I did not notice the sexualization, but then again I am not a German gymnast (you do not want to see me in a unitard, or any kind of tard for that matter).

Sure, what I come across most times these days with people having their say about this or that, I usually don’t understand. But as with most things, all of this falls well into the ‘walk a mile in my shoes’ or bikini bottoms, as the case might be. I just figure, if an athlete feels they can do their best wearing this or that, whether it is revealing or not, let them have at it. And if you are of a mind (see: perversion) to peek or salivate over a body in a tight body suit or shorts (and how can you not really, these men and women really do work hard and loom so fantastic!), I say enjoy yourself, just as long as that enjoying is being done in the privacy of your own home.

Episode #28: Diving Deep into the Wild, Wooly, and Oh-So-Wonderful World of Coralyn Jewel

Where does one begin describing, praising, and yes, even panting over the wonderful CORALYN JEWEL? The beguiling ex-professional figure skater, swinging party producer, adult movie performer and director, wedding planner, award-winning author, podcaster, professional speaker, and mom (and this is just the tip of what this amazing woman gets into during any given day) gave Chris and me such a wonderful chin-wang on our Episode #28. 

And it’s up right now! Here and here are just two of the places you can find it.

As I had advised a few months ago, Coralyn and I had first ‘met’ when I came on her Hankie Pankie Podcast. Chris and I then planned to get the lady on Licking Non-Vanilla and managed to do just that a few weeks ago…and now it’s up.

I have talked and written about this so often, but one of the main points that seem to surface when Chris and I speak to people, and especially surfaced in talking with Coralyn, is how very small the adult business world is. Chris and I have found this often in the smut writing community, where somebody knows somebody else who we know too. And in the adult business, as we discussed with Coralyn, this ‘better-not-burn-a-bridge’ very small world idea plays out as well. I would postulate that this is true for other businesses, but then I’d say this is true for the world in general…especially with social media keeping us ever closer. So, given this, Chris, Coralyn, and I came to the conclusion—being the three extremely evolved, sexy, intelligent, and talented humans that we are—that really we all should be pushing a positive agenda around the work we do and the people we meet, which is something Coralyn certainly does with her work that reaches so many people across so many worlds and approaches.

Yes, just being decent, open, fun gets you far, believe it or not.

So listen to our episode #28, where we speak to the amazing Coralyn Jewel. You can also seek her out on her Hankie Pankie Podcast (here) and read her book When The Ice Melts: The Story of Coralyn Jewel (you can find it here).

Thank you Coralyn.

M. Christian Teaches “Clothespins: The Kinky Wondertoy” for Sadovarius

Have you ever considered clothespins? No, not in the sense of how to use them to hold your laundry on a line, but the way my co-host at Licking Non-Vanilla, super talented naughty writer, kink class teacher, and all-around-greatest friend any man, dog, or marsupial is likely ever to find, M. Christian considers them.
“Chris” is teaching the “Clothespins: The Kinky Wondertoy” virtual class event for SADOVARIUS on August 1st, at 6 pm, UTC. This is a free class, open to donations, and will feature my buddy advising attendees how to select the right clothespin for the job, the safe way applying them, how to modify your clothespins to use them in a whole bunch of nasty ways, the physics and physiology (yes, Chris even knows what these big words mean) of what makes clothespins play so intense, the “sweet intensity” of zippers (and what Chris means by zippers in a kinky setting…and Zowie are they fun!) cautions and concerns and where best to place a clothespin for the most fun.
Chris will also include in his demonstration an assortment of breast play ideas…as well as discussing the cautions and concerns with this kind of play as well.
I know from first-hand experience that Christian knows well of what he speaks, and of that, he speaks (and demonstrates it well). He is also a stickler for safety, and while clothespins are not as dangerous to use as, say, a single-tail whip or a TENS unit, when you attend one of Chris’s classes, either in person or virtually, you get the full gambit of facts and practical application of whatever kinky idea or instrument he is pursuing.
You really are in the very best hands here with M. Christian teaching a kink class.
All the information for the class can be found by going to the Fetlife link and the various M. Christian social media portals.

Site: http://www.mchristian.com/
Twitter: @mchristianzobop
Instagram: mchristianzobop
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mdot.christian
Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/273294 (Mchristian)

One can also make donations @ Paypal: violettvisions@gmail.com/

https: ko-fi.com/violettvisions/shop

Verse: $violettvisions

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