Body, Ody, Ody, Ody, Ody

Being in the music business as long as almost all of the team of Licking Non-Vanilla has, we’ve seen a wide variety of stuff come and go. Trends, commercialism, as much the “Low spark of high heeled boys” to just about any popular style or sound you want to name, we’ve been at the receiving end of so many imaginative attempts over the decades to reach our ears and tickle our senses (we have even been involved in a few attempts ourselves…remind me sometime to tell you about what one had to go through back in the day to get leather pants to fit!) But I can say that the latest round of female rapper song videos are something like nothing we’ve ever seen, with Mega Thee Stallion’s “Body” (see here) currently topping the latest list.

Like Cardi B’s WAP” (which won an award at The American Music Awards last night and which Megan was in), the 25-year old Stallion enlisted a bunch of guest star ladies to frolic and flaunt their assets (and do I mean ‘ass’) on a sound stage over the infectious “ody ody ody” drone of her new tune. The stars include Jordyn Woods, Blac Chyna making a good case for pasties, and Taraji P. Henson, to name a few.

The naughty latex on display—from pasties to bodysuits to chaps—fishnets and booty-baring wardrobe is startling and oh so much fun to look at. This is one highly naughty, wonderful song clip.

Megan Thee Stallion enlisted “WAP” ‘s director Colin Tilley to helm for “Body,” and once again, the man hits it out of the park! The lyric pretty much mines the same idea as “WAP,” although Megan relates a more ‘general’ statement while Cardi addressed a more specific area. But the idea of women owning their destinies, doing what they want with talents and attributes they seemingly enjoy flaunting, and being unapologetic while flaunting them, is undoubtedly at the heart of these videos, and I will most likely be for a very long time.

From time to time, I like to show-off what Chris and I are currently into. Sure, I could easily admit that these kinds of blogs are a ‘toot our horn’-ness, but I justify this self-promotion/bragging by championing the places where our dirty writing is currently being featured. Chris and I are ever so thankful for any mention or work we get and will always go far and wide to champion those who support us.

So, in no particular order…

The wonderful Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, who we had on Licking Non-Vanilla for our episode #13 (yes, a very lucky 13, hear it here), gave me a second chance on one of her many shows, her podcast called DR LORI BETH BISBEY’S EROTIC LIBRARY.  On episode #24, downloaded on November 2nd, I read my story “Ladies Powering Down” to Dr. Lori’s audience than had a nice chin wag with the show’s wonderful host, the engaging and super-smart Dr. Lori.

Hear the episode here.

Chris has just had a new collection of short stories released. His scary, sexy, and all-together excellent Horrorsexual: The Queer Erotic Fright Fiction Of M. Christian sees my buddy, co-host, and all-around top scribe, mixing sexy gay fiction with terror. Explicit tales of guy-on-guy canoodling mix with the stuff of shiver-inducing nightmare-scapes.

You can grab a copy of Chris’s new book, Horrorsexual: The Queer Erotic Fright Fiction Of M. Christian here

In my story, I read on Dr. Lori’s show, and with Chris’s “Horrorsexual,” book we do something we like very much when it comes to our erotica writing; mixing genres. We hope you enjoy our attempts.

And as we tell you from time to time on the broadcast, Chris continues to write for & continue my somewhat weekly THE SEX FILES column at and, writing twice-monthly erotic-writing how to’s at, and I just landed a new position over at the wonderful and well-known

Busy? Yes, I guess you could say we are, but as freelance writers, we are always on the hunt for work and, of course, trying best we can to provide good times, sexy talk, and every so often even a dose of information on Licking Non-Vanilla.

So, there’s a quick update, kids. See you in the funny papers. 

Sex With Presidents: The Ins and Outs of Love and Lust in the White House

Even with what just passed (or is still happening?) I don’t get all that jazzed that much over politics. As has been true for most of my time on this planet (the only planet that I am aware of that I have ever spent time on) it doesn’t ever make that much of a difference to my day to day living who is the that big white house in D.C. To me all the bluster comes from people wanting to back the right horse (donkey or elephant in this case) and have their particular philosophies honored. Go forth and have at it I say, I’d rather talk about, think about, write about…sex.

As Eleanor Herman does masterfully in her new book, Sex With Presidents: The Ins and Outs of Love and Lust in the White House. that marries politics and sex in wonderful historical context.

This New York Times best -selling author has managed a score of books, with her Sex with Kings, Sex with the Queen specifically tackling the subject of which powerful leader was doing what to whom while they either led a nation or were well thrust in its politics. In Herman’s latest she gives forth details on people like Thomas Jefferson, Warren Harding, John F. Kennedy (a rather horny top-dog if there ever was one) up to Clinton and Trump, and a whole lot more. But as one would expect from an author of this standing, someone who has penned lots of books and hosted “Lost Worlds” for The History Channel, “The Madness of Henry VIII” for National Geographic Channel and two seasons “America: Fact vs. Fiction” for The American Heroes Channel, there’s lots of history to be learned from Herman’s expert reporting and writing.

You can find more on Herman and her latest book here. I highly recommend giving Sex With Presidents: The Ins and Outs of Love and Lust in the White House a read.

And, oh yeah, give Licking Non-Vanilla a listen, here, here and here.

Led To Be Deceived

Sorry, but I can’t seem to get enough of this fucking crazy Keith Raniere guy, his NXIVM cult, and the question of why anybody would follow this asshole, join his cult and suffer the abuses they did. Hard as it is to avoid the story (and yes, I wrote about it for us already in this blog) two series on cable, H.B.O. ‘s The Vow and Showtime’s Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult are about the cult and its abuses of various men and women (although lots more was done to women).

I expounded in the first blog about how dangerous it was too good old kinksters when stories like NXIVM’s abuses get made known. Words like “master” and “slave” instantly get stained with negative connotations because of what these cult-sters allowed and perpetrated. No, what people suffered at the hands of this group has nothing to do with good old, consensual kink, believe me.

But what’s got my panties twisted this week are these questions I can’t seem to get my mind: Why do cultured, intelligent men and women go in for this kind of mind-fuckery time and time again? What is it about some folks who get taken in, who want to get taken in, who need affirmation so bad they will lose sight of family and their core values? Why do some people believe, through a blinding conceit, that they can, under the tutelage of some ‘leader,’ better the planet?

As the Jethro Tull lyric from their song “Back Door Angel” postulates, “Who do the faithful have such a will to believe in something? And call it the name they choose.”

What happened to these folks’ critical thinking? Aren’t they aware of the all-too-frequent real-life examples (and all too tragic) of people following self-appointed gurus over and over with disastrous results? What’s missing in these people’s lives that they would so quickly give over to a set of values and platitudes that often sound really spooky and often just wholly illogical? I am not doubting how they could be mind-controlled, what I am asking is, how did it even come to pass that they got to the point where they could be?

I guess a case could be made that those following the various supernatural beings worshiped in the diverse world religions could be seen as just as misguided. I’m not about to go off on that tangent here; this is a fun, naughty podcast blog after all. In the end, Chris and I want to keep things light and fun. And seeing as most of the world’s religions are built on the primary tenant of loving one another, they fall far from what was happening at NXIVM and what all the group’s followers were into.

Followers, I really don’t understand

Episode #17: Speaking To Marilyn Jaye Lewis

Even the quickest cursor exploration will reveal that there are lots of people ‘out there,’ producing lots of exciting work. In the world of written erotica alone, there is so much to get into, enjoy, whack-off over, that really, one would never leave the house had one the time to search out the modern accumulation of tremendously naughty stuff. Chris and I were extraordinarily lucky on our latest episode (#17) to speak with one of the preeminent creators of this naughty stuff, as well as other writings and work, and somebody you undoubtedly will need to find and read after you read this blog and listen to the episode: Marilyn Jay Lewis.

A published fiction writer and anthology editor since 1989, as well as a continuous online presence since 1998, Marilyn has published 5 novels (her 6th is currently in the pipeline) 50+ published short stories, as well as essays, memoirs, and novellas. As head writer on the DADAhouse adult CD Rom game for RomAntics Productions, she won the AVN Award for Best CD Rom Adult Game 1998 and was showcased on HBO. She has won numerous awards for her fiction writing, screenwriting, and multi-media producing, including Playboy’s Online Hall of Fame for the literary erotic fiction website, She is in current co-production with Abstract Absurdity Productions, a micro-short film production company based in West Hollywood. And she is also in pre-production with two musical theatricals she wrote, both starring the renowned African American transgender actor, Sandra Caldwell.

And if that’s not enough, MJL is the bomb! She was so warm, welcoming, and fun to talk with; Chris and I couldn’t have asked for a bigger star and a nicer guest! She even prompted an end-of-the-show back and forth with Chris and I jawing over our short list of the sexiest movies we could name right then and there.

You can hear episode #17 here and here (plus many other places) and follow LNV here and here. And write us @ You can find the deliciously talented (and pretty much just all-around delicious) Marilyn Jaye Lewis here and here.

The Vow

Renewed for a second season on HBO, the sex cult documentary series, The Vow, exposes some weighty do do that wackadoodle, self-proclaimed “Vanguard,” group leader Keith Raniere did do to a whole bunch of ladies (he conned men too, but didn’t get them to lose weight, submit to a mistress-slave relationship or brand themselves). Raniere ran the NXIVM group (pronounced “Nexium”) and seemingly formed a woman’s- only group within his corporation to abuse the ladies. It’s chilling stuff, to be sure, but a few things shake, rattle and roll an old reprobate like me when I see stuff like this… mainly, let’s not confuse abuse and even mind-control cult techniques with good old, S&M kink play.

I have seen this happen too many times to count. Some sort of non-vanilla sexual play that harms people (yeah, I said, non vanilla, as in our fun and sexy podcast, Licking Non-Vanilla, which you can find here or here, to name but a few of the places you can find it) gets exposed in the mainstream, and instantly there’s blowback that all kink is bad or potentially harmful.

Let’s take the second point first:

Yes, kink can be harmful. Chris and I are on and on about this all the time. Play safe, use plenty of lube, take classes, and please, please, don’t ever put anything around your slave’s neck or restrict their breathing in any way (this last bit of advice gets us plenty of opposition from dyed-in-the-wool kinksters, but fuck it, we want everyone to be safe!)

The first point: no, all kink is not bad. Not by a long shot.

To be honest, I have a hard time with these folks-falling-prey-to-a-cult docs. It’s so obvious to me that we all need to be ever suspect over anything anyone says at any time, especially supremely conceited leaders looking for money (and no, I don’t mean the Democrat or Republican candidates, haha). I feel there is as much to explore in why seemingly smart people, many who star in this docu-series, were duped into NXIVM as there is the dangerous group itself.

But please, don’t take all that happened here in the sexual submission, branding, weird nude-picture blackmailing as having anything to do with people engaging in spanking, bondage, chastity, or any other kink.

Kink good; sex cult, not.

Getting It Right With Circle of Q

For people not in the community of sissies, panty boi’s crossdressers, etc. the terms people use to describe themselves or how they come to be known in their community can be quite challenging for the layman to decipher. I checked in with Miss Ava, the first guest we had on the podcast, (episode #5) her co-founder at Circle of Q, Becca, to get a good leg up, for once and for all, on what terms people use in the community of men who like to dress as act as and even enjoy sex as women and the men who like to engage in intimacies with them. 

Becca weighed in first:

“There are so many terms out there to describe men that dress in women’s clothes, and the men that enjoy them. Ms. Ava and I try to standardize on some ‘labels’ for use on the site. We’re not hung up on them though; at Circle of Q anyone can be whoever or whatever they want to be. I’m the perfect example of that; just for the record, I identify as a sissy.”

Miss Ava says: 

“This can be a sensitive territory. My personal working definitions (which are certainly not declarations) are, I think of crossdresser as a broad description of any cismale who enjoys wearing women’s clothes for pleasure, relaxation, escape, or erotic adventure, not because he feels misgendered. The ones I work with are typically straight or bisexual and in long-term committed relationships with women. CDs can be submissive, dominant, switch, or vanilla.

Transvestite or ‘TV’ is a synonym for CD, but it’s outdated and considered derogatory. Sissies comprise a large subset of crossdressers, submissive and often hyperfeminine. They tend to be laser-focused on giving sexual pleasure to their partner and others, and fantasize about being used for that purpose. This usually (but not always) includes sexually servicing ‘real’ men’ or other CDs. Some think of the term as an insult, but the word itself—sissy—makes a real sissy’s heart pound. 

Pantyboy (or pantyboi) is a cismale who enjoys wearing panties, stockings, or lingerie, but doesn’t transform into full femme mode (dress, wig, makeup, etc.). He may or may not be sexually submissive. And Transfemmes are people born with male genitalia who express some degree of feminine identity. This includes transwomen at the far end of the spectrum (those who identify as purely female), but the term transfemmes covers a broad range in between.”

As old Willy assured us: “There are more things in Heaven and Earth…” and he was right. And those things, like all the things you live, love, and make part of your day, need be respected if those things do not impinge on others’ freedoms.

We are going to feature Miss Ava (again) and Becca on an upcoming episode, but I thought it might be interesting to get the skinny on this term/label question, curious as I was about it.

Visit Miss Ava and Becca at and tell them Licking Non-Vanilla sent you.


Unquestionably, you have come to adore Chris and me through Licking Non-Vanilla. How could you not? The dulcet sounds of our warble, our informative weekly screed, the salacious wordplay that surely gets you all wiggly and dewy; we know how our naughty podcast brings such wonderfulness onto the world. In all seriousness, Chris and I are ever thrilled that anybody ever gives us a listen, honored as we are to be producing the podcast in the first place and fantasizing that we continue it for a very long time. We hope our listeners are entertained, continue to grow in number and that everybody stays with us for whatever sexiness might be coming.

Thank you, our listeners, ever so much.

But as I have informed you before in this blog, and you certainly will know by listening to LNV (which you can do here and here, among so many others places you can find the show), Chris and I make most of our fortune scribbling naughty missives into short stories, books, scripts, reviews, interviews and a whole bunch of non-fiction articles and blogs. First and foremost, we are writers, and I wanted to take the time here to tell you about a new book we have out.

NINE TO ETERNITY is an anthology of science-fiction short stories that Chris dutifully edited and anthologized. He and I also have stories in NINE TO ETERNITY, as well does the publisher of the book, Jean Marie Stine (a giant in the science fiction field) and a whole bunch of other excellent writers.

I am humbled to be among them all.

Right now, you can get the book in eBook form on Amazon (go here). But according to Jean Marie, a trade paperback edition is coming in the future, possibly an audiobook version.

In his introduction to NINE TO ETERNITY, Chris mentions that friendship is the backbone of the collection. He has gathered together writers he is close to (can you see me batting my eyelids?) and people who know one another to summon their talents to produce what took a long time in coming but is finally here.

Again, you can grab NINE TO ETERNITY here. And as always, give a listen to Licking Non-Vanilla at the spots I indicated above or even at this one.

Be well, everybody.

Licking The Globe

Occasionally our producer will email or call Chris and me, with updates of where our naughty podcast is being downloaded. Or he checks in with an “Um, you and Chris need to get on Twitter and check the retweets, or say hi to this or that person who has been saying such nice things.” Chris and I are consistently amazed by all the good wishes, retweets, and where the show is being heard.

Hear it here and here and here.

Take, for instance, what’s been happening to Licking Non-Vanilla in Ireland lately. The ‘metrics,’—the fancy word they use for all that calculating of digital numbers, etc.—has been a’booming! In one week, and for no reason any of us down at LNV headquarters (located in an acre-long white brick building on the shore of Lake Mead surrounded by a 24-hour guard in helicopters and ATV’s…well you get the picture) can determine, our numbers jumped higher in Ireland than they ever have in any country…even the good old U.S. of A where we record our humble little sex show. We hadn’t ever been present in Ireland until recently and we are performing unbelievably there now, ever since episode #15 (that was where we spoke to Sarah Sloan of #open). 

India, a country we already had a presence in, by a certain small but steady margin, popped upwards in their downloads just recently as well.

We thank everybody who is listening.

And lastly, Miss Mae Ling, one of two guests we had on our most recent episode (you can find her here and here), #16, has been so wonderful to us. Beyond giving so deeply of herself on the show, she advertised her appearance on our most episode #16, getting us press on: XBIZ, AVN, THE PORN DEN, and XCRITIC.

Thank you dear, sweet, Miss Mae Ling.

And thank you to everybody listening, from wherever you are.

Now, suppose you happen to be living and listening in Ireland or India, or any other place. Or are a fan of friend of Miss Mae Ling or a reader of XBIZ/AVN etc. Or just want to stop in over Twitter. Well, I hope you know that Chris and I, our producers, and all of us at the LNV headquarters (located in an acre-long white brick building on the shore of Lake Mead surrounded by a 24-hour guard in helicopters and ATV’s…well you get the picture) would love to hear from you. You can write us at or find us on Twitter @Licking NonVanilla. We want to know what we are doing right (if you think we are doing anything right at all) or even wrong. And we really want to connect with our listeners, beyond just providing what we hope you will consistently find, interesting, naughty, informative, sex-positive talk.

Truly, thank you all…Chris and Ralph.

Bella Throne, Corona and the Healing Power of Dominance and Submission: Episode #16

I gave you a head’s-up in one of my most recent blogs that Chris and I would be exploring the recent Bella Thorne controversy with the OnlyFans…and we do in our new episode (number 16) with Chloe. Chloe is a pro stripper, dom, sex industry expert and podcast host from London who got in touch via this Interweb thingie all the kids are using today, wanting to explore with us what happened recently with B.T. and how it affects the world of women and men attempting to ply their ways in a sex-positive way.

(You’ll have to listen to the episode…here, here or here) to get the skinny, and learn so much more about super sexy/smart/and articulate Chloe. You can find her here: INSTAGRAM- and on TWITTER@podcaststripper.

What a wonderful lady and an equally great convo!

On the same show (yeah, we do keep them jampacked, huge-cock-bulging for you, don’t we?), we spoke with dominatrix Miss Mae Ling. Mae gave us a very good lesson on what’s happening presently in her world, her background, how she does the work she does, and turned something that could have certainly left her down-and-out from life into enriching and empowering work that betters her life and others.

What a refreshing perspective from a smart, sexy, and matter-of-fact lady, so giving with her time.

Miss Mae can be found on INSTAGRAM@adorabledomme, her website, and on Twitter@missmaeling

As Chris and I keep saying on the show and even when we are alone just gabbing about life, we have had such wonderful guests on the show; we want to have each one back. Maybe we are unusually lucky, or just only the very best of the best want to come on our show (or maybe we just happen to know the very best people around). Whatever the reason, those shows where we interview folks happen to be fantastic nuggets of Licking Non-Vanilla.

We think you’ll agree #16 is pretty much aces.

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